Men Who Want to F Themselves

In a time of reckoning and revolution, I find myself at peace. Earlier, I made a video with the “unpopular social opinion” that I love men. All men.

Tuesday night’s Men’s Yoga (women welcome) class is growing. These guys come week after week with open hearts and minds, seeking safe space for their expansion and finding it. Their transformation happens internally and ripples out into their community and the world as a collectively evolving brotherhood. And, man, am I honored to be the one holding space for them in this way.

Out and about, I’ll meet men who are awake – or at least, waking up – to the concept of a heart-forward and fully-conscious life. They are interested in learning more about the divine masculine and feminine energies, about transforming their lives. But they are hesitant; they tell me “I’m always the only man in the room at ‘these things.’”

Do they say that because they are uncomfortable being the minority? Is this a reflection of the patriarchy at work – men experiencing what it’s like to be in the background? Perhaps some would say so. But I know differently, because these men come to me and I hear them. What they are saying is, “I don’t want to impede on space for women.” These men recognize that women are coming together in droves to empower each other and they don’t want to “give the wrong impression.”

What they do want is space to integrate their divinity, too. They want to speak openly, from their hearts, and to learn how to be whole, again.

The patriarchy doesn’t just hurt women (and POC, and children, and, and, and . . .) – It hurts men, too. The idea of “toxic masculinity” is toxic to men, too. And a lot of men – more than we are led to believe, in fact – are wide awake and fully aware of the toxicity. Unlike women, though, men aren’t really . . . being encouraged . . . to “find themselves.”

No. Usually, men are being told to . . . different F themselves.

But not here, men. Not in this place.

I’m an ally. To all. If you want to find yourself, I’m here to hold the space, and your hand, and even the door, for you – no matter where on the gender spectrum you are, or the color of your parts, or the things you’ve done in the past. This is a safe place for all.

Because I’ve moved past the anger. Smashing things, like the patriarchy, or whatever, just isn’t my jam today – and that’s okay. It might not be popular, but it’s okay.

Oh – and women? Same goes for you. Even if you are all about smashing right now. We have space for sisterhood, and embrace women’s empowerment (like every month at circle), and hold a candle for the divine feminine, too.

I believe that we rise together, or not at all. And, man, is that a peaceful kind of feeling.

2 Comments on “Men Who Want to F Themselves

  1. I love this! I know a few awakened men, and it’s a beautiful thing. I have huge respect for them, and I’m routing for the rest. I feel we are moving toward balance and equality and mutual respect, and away from hatred and victim mentality. I can’t wait until we get there. I join you in seeing and honoring these men. It would be great to be part of a co-ed group, where men feel welcomed and not like they are intruding.


    • Thank you, Lyla! I have been tossing around two ideas to further include men: the first is a group for all genders to come together in divine transformation and the second is an “integrating the divine masculine” group sort of opposite the women’s empowerment circle. As our community grows, so too will our offerings. I am deeply grateful for your support and willingness to join the co-creative awakening!!


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