Brittany Boles
live a magical life
“A Yummy Surprise” – Trigger Warning
A new toddler book arrived in the mail yesterday. And, unlike this post, it did not come with a trigger warning.
One day, I want to be the kind of person who is free of any attachment to past trauma. It would be lovely, in fact, to one day abandon all memories of my childhood in favor of a richly abundant present. One day, I will know with certainty that I am living authentically, from a place of joy. Yesterday was not that day.
A Yummy Surprise sits innocently enough, still in the books-of-the-month-club packaging, on my kitchen shelf. I can’t look at it without jumping back twenty-five years in my mind, to the day my dad found me in the apartment laundry room surrounded by older boys from the neighborhood.
To be fair, he was actually my mom’s boyfriend at the time, as my dad had died years prior. So maybe that’s why he was able to judge me so quickly, rather than jumping to protect my innocence.
A bunch of the boys from the building – a ghetto complex in East San Diego – had lured me into the laundry room to play a game. They sat me on top of a dryer and instructed me to close my eyes and open my mouth.
I was hoping for a popsicle.
Instead, I got a dick.
Just as my eyes were opening wide with surprise, for a dick is nothing like a popsicle, a very angry man stormed into the room.
“What the fuck is going on in here?!” he shouted as he lunged for me.
For one brief moment, relief washed over my five-year-old self as I thought I had been saved from this cruel and gross game. A very brief moment.
Yanking me off the dryer by my arm, he pulled me up the concrete stairs to our apartment, where my mother was sitting on the couch.
“Do you know what I just caught your fucking daughter doing?” he growled at her.
Needless to say, much screaming and punishment followed. I had been a very bad girl and had done a naughty thing; what kind of slut puts a dick in her mouth in front of a bunch of other guys?
“She gets this shit from you,” he sneered at my mom.
Twenty-five years ago, my voice was silenced. I wish I could say it was the first or the last time – for the abuse, the neglect, the blame, the violence. But the instances were frequent and hazy enough to render that declaration impossible.
Yoga teaches us to turn inward, honoring our fullest expression. Find our voice, trust our inner guidance, enjoy oneness with everything as healthy, joyful, whole beings – this is the aim of practice. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how in order to speak our truth, we must first learn to listen to our inner voice.
In my case, and in many others’, turning inward can be terrifying. I have uncovered a lot of dark, painful, devastating – beautiful, empowering, inspiring – bits of dialogue.
Someone said “healing is not linear; it is a spiral.” Just when I think I’ve turned a corner, releasing-old-shit-wise, A [fucking] Yummy Surprise shows up on my doorstep.
So what is the lesson for me in this experience, in reliving this sunshiny childhood memory? Perhaps it is another opportunity to acknowledge my inner truth by speaking – writing it – as it happened.
This is what happened. It was wrong and sad, and not my fault.
Introspection, like the mail, does not come with a trigger warning. Thus, one must gather much courage and curiosity in order to do the work of uncovering the innermost self.
Though slimy memories may come to the surface, they are simply opportunities to slough off some density in favor of the bright and joyful me-est Me that I can be.
Now that’s a great toddler title!
The Very Magical 8-Limbs of Yoga
Yoga is a practice that exists both on and off a mat; alone, in community, and with teacher; physically, with the body, and on every psychic, energetic, and emotional level. Yoga is vast – in history, teachings, and experiences. Just like the ancient history of magic, yoga is entwined with sages, prophets, the gods, great teachers, and students.
My lifelong fascination with magic has lead me to the discovery of the perfect vehicle to not only live an abundant, intentional life but also to share that practice with others. Upon sudden and acute understanding of the linkage between the eight limbed yogic path, the chakra system, and the many facets of human potential that I had come to blanket-identify as “magic,” I was filled with a sense of purpose that can only be described as dharma – the realization of one’s true life path.
A technicolored chakra system merges with the concept of yoga as an 8-limbed path, and indeed helps represent the defining threads that make up a rich tapestry of magic, yoga, and human potential. Here’s a brief outline of the connections between the seven chakra system, the 8-Limbs of Yoga, and magical practices as I see them.
Root Chakra – Yamas
In identifying the Self, one develops a moral compass that can be akin to that of the Yama observances. Folklore tells us that witches and wizards must have a clear, and clearly defined, conscience before safely or effectively beginning any spell. Many “beginner” exercises include observing values such as the five Yamas, and all belief systems include observances of basic moral codes. Brahmacharya in particular speaks to conserving one’s divine life force (sometimes spoken in terms of sexual energy) so that it may be directed with intention, purposefully, and without draining oneself – this is a basic rule of magic, as well. On the mat, one would call upon Brahmacharya to find a comfortable “edge” where breathing is steady and at ease while in the fullest expression of a pose, even if it means lessening the pose or exerting less physical energy.
Sacral Chakra – NiYamas
How we relate to others determines the velocity of our Sacral Chakra; the NiYamas help us put our “best Self forward.” In Deepak Chopra’s 7 Spiritual Laws of Success, he points to a certain self-awareness and bold, honest living as keys to achieving high-level abundance. Manifesting is magic, my friends! The more solidly grounded into a community (witches may call it a coven) one is, the more successful the ability to move into the higher plane. Energy sharing circles, spending time in prayer together, and combining talents with other beings are all examples of magical practices to accompany the sacral chakra and the NiYamas. On the mat, poses like cat/cow, twists, and forward bends can help clear out and balance the second chakra while the heat generated by doing so will purify the body, thusly practicing Sauca.
Solar Plexus Chakra – Asana
Finding confidence, balance, and self- assuredness happens when we become fully human – fully in our bodies, fully present, fully alive. Asana – or postures – help us expand the horizons of our physical beings while literally and mentally increasing flexibility. Power comes from within – and this golden yellow energy center generates a lot of it! Moving the body around, balancing it, and celebrating its sanctuary is a fabulous way to awaken the third chakra – AND – it is involved in a lot of practices new and old. The magical compliment to the 3rd Limb is ritual – physical, literal practices that involve the body, human actions, and earthly objects, places, and materials. Practicing physical asana yoga postures, especially on a set routine, returns power to the yogi and activates the yellow/gold energy center as well!
Heart Chakra – Pranayama
“Love is blind!” All healing comes from the heart. Arch Angel Raphael is known for his green light and ability to miraculously heal – this fifth chakra is associated with the color green and is the place of emotional healing and forgiveness. Pranayama teaches us to control our breath, focusing it entirely inward until we become aware of our energetic body – our pranic body, or aura, or field of energy. Intentional manifestation and the healing arts all happen from this kosha, or layer of the self. Magical examples of the heart chakra and pranayama include literally healing the sick and the ability to ground or otherwise energetically influence someone. Carlos Casteneda’s luminous egg theory (the idea that all human energy exists in a luminous white egg-shaped cluster of energetic threads circling out from the center of the chest – and that these threads connect us to and interact with the threads of all other matter) directly correlates to the heart chakra as accessed through Pranayama, and is one of my favorite recent explanations of medicine-man magic.
Throat Chakra – Pratyahara
Pratyahara teaches meditation: withdrawal of the physical senses in order to turn on our inward ones; it is literally the act of engaging the throat chakra! Though the throat is often associated with using the physical voice – and can be powerfully active in practices like chanting – it is firstly about becoming aware of inner truth. One must turn off worldly distractions and focus deeply and honestly within, if one wishes to connect with the energies of Spirit. Channeling experiences like meeting Spirit Guides, contacting or recognizing signs from passed loved ones, recognition of orbs, rainbows, halos, and other Light forces – all of this magic comes during a state of meditation! All magic is meditation.
Third Eye Chakra – Dharana
Immovable focus; intense alignment with intention; flow – all of these are names for the experience of Dharana, and also the place from which all divination, intuition, and Knowing originate in the body. Accessing the third eye through practice of Dharana, which is easy to do in Yoga Nidra and Restorative Yoga, is literally tapping into magical knowledge. It is opening the Self to experiences of otherworldly knowing, deeper awareness, and massively heightened intuition. Archetypical magical people, and indeed current spiritual leaders, are heralded for their wisdom and intuitive abilities – often referred to as “looking right through” people, problems, and the physical realm. Psychic abilities, dream work, divination, readings, and “Seeing” are all magical, third eye, and Dharana practices.
Crown Chakra – Dhyana
This state of being intensely, acutely, divinely aware is sometimes referred to in yoga and meditation as being “the watcher” or “the observer.” It speaks of a place of total detachment from any distractions, outcomes, emotions – simply having the experience of witnessing the experience. Perfectly so, the crown chakra is the gate of this awareness: crown chakra is the place of communion with deity, connection to Source, and a literal open mind through with major informational, healing, or transcendent downloads happen. Prophets, or the ability to prophesize, can access Dhyana and focus their crown chakras to communicate with the divine!
Samadhi – the 8th limb and the “Whole Yoga Body”
Oneness, deep connection with everything – the bliss body – is the deepest self in terms of koshas and represents something deeper and more encompassing than any one chakra; indeed, Samadhi is represented by the entire chakra system, that with which it interacts, and the source of its constant energy. Samadhi is recognition of and connection with the entirety of divine energy – and in magic, is a transcendent, astral, or god – experience. Savasana, or corpse pose, invites us to experience Samadhi and transcend our energetic bodies.
Magical Yoga
In personal practice and through becoming a teacher, I intend to weave together the ancient stories of an eight limbed path of yoga, the seven chakra system, all forms of magic, and human energy potential. It is through this Magical Yoga path that I will inherit my dharma and empower myself and others to manifest that which we desire, thus creating the world in which we want to live, peacefully, blissfully, wholly together.
The Fall of Divine Feminine: A Brief History
Once upon a time, a long time ago, people worshiped the Divine Feminine. Mother Earth, she who nurtures and not only creates but also embodies love in the truest, most abundant sense, was the absolute deity during the earliest times of human history. She was worshiped, and the earth and her people were happy. As I said, this was a long – long – time ago.
Cultures innately recognized the transcendent, supernatural power of femininity. So revered was this power that religions and cultures were built around worshiping and protecting not only the divine goddess but also her human counterparts. Because the Divine Feminine embodies cyclical harmony of intuition, maidenhood, motherhood, and crone wisdom, early cultures were largely harmonious in their nomadic, highly-artistic, philosophic lifestyles.
Then, one day, Patriarchy happened. To summarize this phenomenon, I’ll paraphrase Daniel Quinn’s “Ishmael.” A group of men decided that in order to fulfill their destiny (the destiny to conquer the earth), some semblance of permanent order needed to be established. They invented agriculture: stay in one place, grow select crops, kill select animals. Of course, this way of life used up considerably more time and energy than the previous way – so people were, shall I say, reluctant to comply.
Faced with such insubordination, the Patriarchs realized they needed a means to force “civilization” upon the people. Thus began the new story of male deity – oh, and the locking-up of all the food and resources. When that still wasn’t proving satisfactorily effective in controlling the masses – who were quite happily leaving these civilizations to continue worshiping and living in harmony with Mother Earth – the Patriarchs grew more violent, viciously enslaving women and hunting and destroying all traces of the Goddess.
The Inquisition. Witch burnings. Early Christianity. Roman rule. The birth of democracy. Kings, pharaohs, walled cities, prisons, marriage, dowry, prostitution, and the continued objectification of women – ALL aimed at eliminating the belief in and empowerment of the Divine Feminine.
Women and children, like animals, plants, and the very earth itself, became property. Objects one could own with the swipe of sword and pen.
“Given a story to enact that puts them at odds with the world, as yours does, they will live at odds with the world. Given a story to enact in which they are the lords of the world, they will act like lords of the world. And, given a story to enact in which the world is a foe to be conquered, they will conquer it like a foe, and one day, inevitably, their foe will lie bleeding to death at their feet, as the world is now.” Daniel Quinn, “Ishmael.”
The story had changed, gradually and ferociously, from the worship of the Divine Feminine to that of Manifest Destiny. In place of nurturing beauty from birth to death and back, humankind took to destroying each other, the planet, and even the idea of peace after death. Such were the depths of the people’s despair that an entire historical period was termed “The Dark Ages.”
“You must change people’s minds. And you can’t just root out a harmful complex of ideas and leave a void behind; you have to give people something as meaningful as what they’ve lost–something that makes better sense than the old horror of Man Supreme, wiping out everything on this planet that doesn’t serve his needs directly or indirectly.” Quinn, “Ishmael,” later.
Even the Dark Ages were followed by a Renaissance. The Divine Feminine is notoriously difficult to erase, and has reappeared (to be driven back into hiding) many times since the birth of Patriarchy. She is the “something meaningful” that our starving, bleeding, dying planet – our children, our animals, our forests, and our people – need in order to make sense of the void. A Divine Mother to hold us to her breast and nurture us back to life.
I am here today to announce – along with so many mystics, sages, prophets, mediums, and philosophers – that the Divine Feminine is reawakening on the planet AGAIN. And, this time, She is here to stay.
Brittany Boles 